RoofChicken.com

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after the night at a business function.

He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table:

‘Honey,breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping - Love you!!’

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Jack asks, ‘Son…what happened last night?’

‘Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door.’

So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?’

His son replies, ‘Oh, THAT!…Mum dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, ‘Leave me alone, b*tch, I’m married!!!’.

Broken table - $200
Hot breakfast - $10
Red Rose bud - $10
Two aspirins - 50c

Saying the right thing, at the right time… Priceless

LET’S JUST DO IT ! ! !

THIS IS NOT THE ‘DON’T BUY’ PETROL FOR ONE DAY, BUT IT WILL SHOW YOU HOW WE CAN GET PETROL BACK DOWN TO $1.00 PER Litre….hopefully

It’s worth your consideration. Join the resistance!!!!

Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nations have conditioned us to think that the cost of a liter of gas is CHEAP at $1.50, we need to take aggressive action to teach them that BUYERS control the marketplace...not sellers.

But we CAN have an impact on petrol prices if we all act together to force a price war.

Here’s the idea: For the rest of this year, DON’T purchase ANY petrol from BP
Australia the biggest price up driver company.

But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of BP Australia petrol buyers. It’s really simple to do! Now, don’t wimp out on me at this point…keep reading and I’ll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!!

I am sending this note to 20 people. If each of us s end it to at least ten more (20 x 10 = 200) .. And those 200 send it to at least ten more (200 x 10 = 2000 … and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth group of people, we will have reached over TWO MILLION consumers.
If those get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 20 million people will have been contacted!

Again, all you have to do is send this to 10 people. That’s all!

If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on THEY LOWER THEIR PRICES TO BELOW THE $1.50 RANGE AND KEEP THEM DOWN. THIS CAN REALLY WORK.

Simple – send the message along to other and do not buy petrol from BP Australia.

?A parrot swallows a viagra tablet. his owner disgusted, puts him in the freezer 2 cool off. later when he opens the freezer he finds the parrot sweating. “how come your sweating ?” he asks. The parrot replies “Do u know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken!”

Bureau of Meteorology BOM www.bom.gov.au

How is it possable that the Bureau of Meteorology can keep it’s funding with this kind of figures!

*Gasp* AAAAaaaaaaa HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Very Funny Bunnings Ad From Newstopia, Shaun Micallef you are my hero! All I can Say is AAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA *GASP* aaaAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!